How to Hide Your High

If you’ve ever gotten high and then your friends wanted to go out, or company decided to come over, you may feel the need to conceal your condition. Hiding your high can be difficult if you try to figure it out while high, so the first thing you want is to be prepared. You’re going to want to eliminate the smell, and be conscious of a few unconscious behaviors.

In this article we review tips and tricks for disguising your high.

There's a lot you can do to remove, or at least hide, the odor of burnt marijuana. To rid clothing of the smell, for example, you can use Febreze, or spend a little time under the sun, as UV rays will degrade the smell. Cologne, perfume, and body sprays can overpower the smell. Don't overdo it, though. If you only use these products after you've smoked cannabis, people will start to associate the smell of Axe Body Spray with you being stoned.

Weed smell can be pulled from the air by air purifiers, particularly ones that use UV and ozone to eliminate odors. Fans can move the air for you, and candles or incense can bluntly overpower the smell, but will not erase it.

THC reduces blood pressure throughout the body, and particularly in the eyes. Blood vessels relax and increase in diameter—a process called “vasodilation” that gives some people red eyes. This is great for glaucoma sufferers, but can be a nuisance for those of us who want to get high without getting hassled. Fortunately, red eyes can be easily tamed with a little Visine or other whitening eye drops formulated to reduce blood vessel size. Be warned, though, overuse of these products can cause you to develop a tolerance and may even lead to rebound hyperemia, or chronic red-eye.

The first step to hiding your high is getting rid of red eyes with eye drops. photo credit

Now that the red is out, stop squinting! Marijuana dilates the pupils making our eyes more sensitive to light, but this can be a dead giveaway that you've been smoking some herb, too. One option is to wear sunglasses on your next adventure, but that, too, can be an obvious tell. The best thing you can do to stop squinting after smoking marijuana is to practice not squinting (alone, preferably) so that you'll be prepared for your next time out.

You can take all the right steps to remove the appearance of being stoned, but if you're still acting high, it could all be for nothing. Here are some of the most common things you could do that might give away the fact that you’re high and what you might do to help.

Uncontrollable Laughter

The absurdities of the world are sometimes laid bare by cannabis, and may result in euphoric laughter. It’s a wonderful space to inhabit, but is often lost on others who don’t share your head. Think: are you still laughing at the joke, or laughing at your own laughter? If you can’t stop laughing, you’re fine, but you may want to take it to another room until your feet are back on the ground.

Forgetfulness

The human brain craves efficiency, and the storage of memories is no different. We can only remember things that our hippocampus deems important in order to facilitate a more streamline thinking process. When THC interacts with the hippocampus, it essentially hijacks the memory-making process making it much more likely that you will forget your thought mid-sentence. You can lessen the likelihood of forgetting things when you're high by practicing memory games and visualizing your thought process.

Excessive Talking

While high, you may see the interconnected beauty across vast corners of the universe, or you may witness frighteningly rendered visions of the apocalypse, which you’ll be certain is next week. In either case, you will likely feel compelled to talk about it at great length. The chatty stoner is a common character, so don’t feel bad if you’ve been there, but also don’t feel compelled to speak while you’re riding that euphoria (or paranoia). What you’re experiencing in those moments is very personal, and unless your company is exactly on your wavelength, the thoughts will probably not carry much weight past your lips.

Don't go overboard with excessive talking! photo credit

The thoughts inspiring you are immaterial and temporary; what’s real is your desire to share your experiences with others – and you should! Next time those thoughts grip you, grab a journal or a notepad, and scratch them down as best you can. If they’re still worth sharing in the morning (or an hour later), then you’ve still got them.

Excessive Eating (The Munchies)

Not only is the sensation of eating more pleasurable on cannabis, but research suggests THC may actually “turn off” the part of your brain that makes you feel full, so you keep eating, and keep feeling good about it. It’s not a problem, exactly, but the munchy stoner is a stereotype older than Shaggy and Scooby. If you want to hide your high, remember that your craving for food is probably driven by the weed and not your instinct to survive. Just eat along with anyone else you’re with, and trust you won’t starve in the next few hours.

Couch Lock

Some strains have a deep effect on the body, making the idea of even standing up seem exhausting. But if you want the people around you to believe you’re not stoned, you’re going to need to go ahead and stand up. It doesn’t have to be much, must a little movement to get your blood pumping. Besides, once you stand up, you’ll realize the feeling of being kept down was only that: a mere feeling.

Being high is awesome, but sometimes it's better to keep a high under wraps. A last-minute trip to the bank or visit with the in-laws, for example, might best be handled under the guise of a straight head. Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to reduce the appearance of being stoned. Use these tips to hide your high so that you get through your next encounter unscathed. 

What do you do to hide your high? Let us know in the comments below!

Photo Credit: Psychonaught (license)