Sunday March 27, 2022
By Erin Hiatt
According to a recent survey conducted by the American Pet Products Association (APPA), approximately 70 percent of American households own a pet. That’s nearly 85 million families with at least one furry/feathered/scaly friend at home. About 10%of Americans regularly consume cannabis, and more than 49% have tried it at least once, so there are bound to be some cannabis-friendly pet owners out there.
Many people have experienced the sheer joy of interacting with an animal, and those who have tried it while high know that it can add to the excitement and pleasure. Not only are pets fun to be around after smoking some cannabis, but they also make awesome stoner companions.
Now you might be thinking, how do I choose the right pet for me? Maybe a low maintenance pet, or a pet that’s easy to take care of. Don’t worry, we’ve compiled some suggestions for the pets that have serious potential to be a stoner’s best friend.
Safety First: Getting Stoned Around Pets
Before we dive into discussing the animals, it is important to note that extreme safety and precaution must be taken if you are indulging in cannabis around your pets. Just like humans, some vertebrates and invertebrates have endocannabinoid systems. Will your goldfish get high? To be determined, but it’s best practice to keep the smoke away.
It may seem funny at first, but since pet bodies are generally smaller than ours, THC can hit their nervous system and brains harder and faster, maybe even to the point of causing poisoning, seizures, or requiring veterinary care. Same goes for any edibles you might accidentally leave on the counter that Fido might consider a treat. Always be sure to store your cannabis products out of reach of small fingers, paws, talons, and fins.
As long as you are mindful of your pet and consume your cannabis safely and appropriately, there is nothing stopping you from having an excellent time with your furry companion(s). In fact, some people believe pets enjoy being near a high owner due to their increased creativity, playful energy and heightened emotional and psychological state.
Now that we’ve covered safety, let’s move onto the main event, the 5 best stoner pets!
Dogs are just about the coolest animals to smoke with and that’s pretty much a fact. But there are certain breeds that vibe better with a stoner’s personality than others. If you’re searching for your dream dog, make sure they will be happy with your lifestyle and mesh well with your personality.
Labs are great – their personalities are gentle and fun. They’re pretty much always puppies at heart no matter their age, sort of the Chris Pratt’s of the canine world. Retrievers are also ready for anything.
Higher energy smaller dogs like terriers or poodles may not be the best choice if you prefer being couch locked with a good movie marathon and some indica – they may want to play while you don’t want to move a muscle.
On the other hand, if you prefer a sativa with a more active vibe, terriers or a breed like a German shepherd may be a great walking partner on a sunny day. A beagle or hound might be fun as well since they do love to howl – you or your neighbors might not care for this behavior in the middle of the night, but it could be fun to “sing” alongside them if the mood strikes.
Speculation aside, dogs sometimes take on the personality of their owners and can be nice and mellow to have around you while you yourself are getting nice and mellow. Or maybe you want an energetic dog that matches your favorite uplifting and creative strain. Many breeds of dogs simply like being near you, even when you have a case of the giggles. They don’t know what you find funny most of the time anyway, but they’re always happy when you’re happy.
Ever wonder why so many doctor’s offices have huge fish tanks in their waiting room? Besides distracting kids (and perhaps adults) until it’s time to go in, plenty of studies have shown that watching fish in an aquarium reduces stress and lowers blood pressure. Since many people have anxieties about medical/dental visits, watching colorful fish swim and swim and swim is downright soothing.
Think of the random unending motions, patterns and colors as a living lava lamp, another staple in many stoner homes since way back. Along with the spectacle of watching your fishy friends do their thing, you also can speculate about what they’re thinking. Any fish will do – clown fish, goldfish, guppies, etc. Many species of fish are easy pets to take care of and make great companions. They’re quiet and debatably one of the chillest pets out there.
Plus, fish tanks provide endless visual entertainment.
If you want something interactive, go the amphibian route. Frogs are nice but they can stay kind of small and you never quite know what they’re up to. Toads are bigger but do need a surprising amount of space. In some states you can buy alligators, but the consensus is that you need to always keep an eye on them, which can be hard if you’re focusing on rolling the perfect joint. If you’re distracted you can lose a finger, or perhaps another pet.
That’s why turtles are just right – they’re slow, they’re downright cute when their little feet walk or paddle, they shouldn’t bite you, and they never say a thing. While they might not be the most attentive to your love and affection, turtles do make loyal pets and are quite enjoyable to interact with while high.
Bonus: you'll never have to worry about your turtle running off on you (unless that Northern Lights joint hit you hard, in which case, it might).
Whether you like to get nicely toasted on something high-grade or dab some live rosin, it doesn’t matter, cats will treat you with the exact amount of indifference. Make sure you feed them and pet them — but only if they want to be—- and maybe they’ll put up with you. Plus, if you want to sit around all day taking it easy, you’ll have more in common. They may not, however, be very appreciative if you and your friends feel the urge to start singing and dancing.
Cats are truly a great pet option for stoners and they provide endless hours of amusement. Plus, they’re the only pets you can share a buzz with. Light up your favorite strain and let your little buddy loose with a cat-nip treat. They’ll love the treat and you can get a kick out of the silly antics that ensue.
Cats are great companions to chill out with.
Birds can be downright entertaining pets. Like fish, parrots or parakeets or other small domestic birds, it’s amusing to watch them do their own thing – they eat, they climb, they jump around and peck at things, they chirp and make other noises. You could even try to talk back! They may be polite about your attempts to converse because they know you’re not really speaking their language, but they may chirp back anyway.
You can also use your downtime to work to train them to talk. Avian experts say that the easiest way to accomplish this requires hours of saying the same thing over and over and rewarding them occasionally. Since you may just be sitting around anyway, why not train your bird to be a conversationalist? Conversing with a parrot while high is truly amusing.
Just like any animal – or people, for that matter – individual pet personalities and temperaments may vary. But generally, most pets probably won’t be all that perturbed about your pot use and will enjoy your presence.
What’s YOUR favorite pet?